Zero Punctuation review: Batman: Arkham Asylum

Now here is a treat, a game where Yahtzee finds to be good. But you know Yahtzee - the game-hating reviewer has to rag on something, right? So rather than praise what's been already praised before, he'll nick-pick all the minor flaws in the game and blow them up in a witty explosion.

The NSFW Batman: Arkham Asylum review is below, so enjoy!

Batman: Arkham Asylum (hard mode)...finished!

It's a very good thing I finished Batman: Arkham Asylum the first time in "normal" mode. If I had started the game on "hard" mode from the very beginning, I would've stopped playing in frustration. The meat of this game lies primarily in all the brawls you encounter throughout the game, and the "hard" part of the game is mostly from the enemies being stronger and more aggressive.

There are little aspects, too, that are ramped up in difficulty. Unlike the "easy" and "normal" modes, "hard" mode has no more of the Bat-sense halos over your enemies' heads during fights, so you'll truly need to anticipate their attacks to properly counter them. Also, they've decided that only in "hard" mode will the enemies be able to crane their necks and look above you, possibly catching you perched high up there in your seemingly-undetectable gargoyle and shoot you down.

In the end, I persevered through the tough battles, often spending up to a half-hour trying to pass the more endurance-driven bouts without being killed. Would I do it again? Hell no. If I'm gonna enjoy the story again, I'll play through it in "easy" mode next, just to equal things out. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to some more free content coming later this week!

Batman: henchman blows himself away

So, I'm starting a new campaign through Batman: Arkham Asylum's hard setting, and everything is fine and dandy so far; Batman fights thugs, Batman knocks them unconscious, rinse and repeat. When the last henchman falls, however, he's left in a very uncompromising position. One may speculate that it's a position that, left untreated, can prove fatal. Or ridiculously embarrassing.

It's one thing to get beaten up by Batman, but to land with his balls in his own mouth? That's gotta be a bit demoralizing...

The game labels all the baddies you knock out to be "unconscious" when you observe them in Detective Mode, but it's hard to imagine this particular henchman surviving the fight after landing like this. While I forgot to check for myself if he was still unconscious or deceased, it's clear that this is a Batman "fail." But I'll chalk this to the programmers for this oversight.

So more like a Batman programmers "fail."

Batman: Arkham Asylum...finished!

Despite the short single-mode campaign, Batman: Arkham Asylum is lengthier than most other games, and the end result makes the game feel like a very pleasant interactive movie. Everything melds together into fine, almost seamless transitions from one event to the next, with Batman controlling like a true superhero that rarely falters in his quest for justice. And even if you fall off a ledge accidentally, a quick grapple will bring you back to solid terra firma in true Batman form, feeling nothing like any cheap quick-time event.

I look forward to playing the Challenge Maps over and over for a good score, and to find all the unlockables still hidden on the island. Plus, I still have to play the game again in hard mode because...well, because it's like watching my favorite movie over again.

Batman: Arkham Asylum is here.

Apologies for the blurry picture, but this game is finally in my hands. From not even giving it the time of day to my renewed view of it during E3, I slowly expressed interest to Batman: Arkham Asylum. Now, with exclusive Joker challenge maps and a free ahead-of-time Dem Bones challenge map, I'm all set to immerse myself into this DC universe!

Batman: Arkham Asylum - hands on

Like the polar opposite of a magnet, we go from the disappointment of White Knight to the sudden excitement of the Dark Knight! (Eh? Eh? Didja see what I did there, with the "knight" thing? And the whte and black, and...um...k, moving on.)

Comic videogames are as volatile as videogame movies, and usually get overlooked by my gaming radar. So my lack of interest never waned, even with the promise of a huge limited-edition batarang. With low expectations, I began playing the demo. What I experienced blew me away.

It wasn't the murky graphics or the original story that I marvelled (er, "DC'ed." Pure gold.)...but the fighting that I enjoyed the most. Every punch and kick was seamlessly chained together so well, you can't even tell when one punch ends and the other begins.

Lemme give you a memorable example. I was punching one guy in the face, with two other enemies behind me. In a natural fluid motion, I perform a roll motion over the second guy, which transitioned immediately to a creasant kick to the third guy's face!

There are even movie style attacks, like Batman's no-looking-behind-backhanded-fist counterattack, or his cape-spreading aerial glide kick from above. They've even included his trademark grapple-from-above taketowns, which purposely position the camera to give you an optimal view of the enemy being wisked away into the unknown abyss above.

Add to this the random slow-motion of final blows, and you have the makings of almost cinema-like battle sequences sure to qwell the doubts any gamer has to this Batman game.