Zero Punctuation review: F.E.A.R. 2

This week's "Lazy Thursday" brings F.E.A.R. 2 into Yahtzee's arena in this week's Zero Punctuation. I presume the sequel is as shallow as its appended "2" to the original title, since Yahtzee didn't seem to fancy it as well. According to him, if you've played the first one, you've played the sequel.

Fortunately, Yahtzee has much more to rant about than that. NSFW below!

Paying my last respects...

Upon visiting the doomed PlayStation Store, I happened to find this lonely PS2 station appropriately left on the game over screen.

The only difference between how I found it to the picture above was that the words "restart from last checkpoint" were highlighted.

In true mourning fashion, I reached out to the controller and selected "quit game."

You were my break room from SF, my launch event where I got Jet Li's autograph, and my place where I finally purchased my PS3.

But now, you have no more lives left, and you're out of continues.

In other words, PlayStation Store...you are dead.

Zero Punctuation review: Skate 2

Ever determined to post on a "Lazy Wednesday," here's this week's Zero Punctuation for you - a review on a game I just recently acquired, Skate 2.

Granted, skateboarding isn't Yahtzee's cup of tea, but he knows that. Even so, he still does his "job" and gives the game his own wit and charm.

Oh, who am I kidding? He rips it a new one.

NSFW below. Click and enjoy!

Little Big Planet...finished!

This was actually done a few weeks ago, but I finished the main story mode in Little Big Planet. Like Rock Band 2, this is about as complete as I can do in a game that has a much lengthier replay value. There are a few levels that I'd like to construct, and even more that I'd like to play.

Unfortunately, all that takes time. And as a gamer, time is not on my side.

Rock Band 2 (tour)...finished!

Rock Band 2 is not the type of game I could really classify as "completing," simply because there's always something new to play or compete in. Which is why I'm putting a "finished" stamp on the game for just finishing the world tour, which would technically count since the credits rolled right after.

It's gonna take me more time to master the drums and start earning some of the harder-to-achieve trophies within, though. Couple that with the constant stream of new songs to download, and you have a game that I'll always return to for more.

Prince of Persia added to collection

What's this? Another game? So fast? Are you kidding??

I can at least say I played and completed the Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. I can't say the same for the second and third installments of that trilogy, but it's good to know that the new Prince of Persia is starting all over with a new story and new system. And that is part of the reason why I now have a copy of the game in my house.

That, and it was on sale.

In any case, adding this to the growing pile isn't helping my playthroughs much...

Skate 2 and the evolution from Tony Hawk

Games are a great escape, but more and more the line between them and reality are blurring more and more. Pressing buttons to perform actions is such a backseat in many of the games that we play that it has had to evolve to literally get people off their seat. Wii was the most prominent influence toward this new generation of games that involve bodily movement, making players literally swing a racket or golf club to perform well in their games. Rock Band has also forced players out of their seats and really get involved with the music they love as well, potentially increasing their fondness for real instruments.

And, on a smaller scale, Skate has taken out the conventional button-input commands towards a more spontaneous flick of the analog sticks.

When the first Skate came out, I admit that the new control scheme scared me. I just stopped playing the Tony Hawk games, and was still used to button-mashing every single move while I made ridiculous air. It's not until Skate 2 where I decided to return to my video-game-skateboarding roots.

Now the controls feel more natural, the tricks look more realistic, and the bails look incredibly painful. All in all, yet another game added to my ever-growing PS3 library.

Zero Punctuation review: Thief: The Dark Project

For today's late "Lazy Thursday" post, we have Yahtzee do something he hasn't done in a while - express praise for a game, reviewing Thief: The Dark Project.

Long time fans of Zero Punctuation has probably heard the witty Australian mention Thief here and there when referencing a good game, and this week he tells us why he enjoys the game so. But it's still Yahtzee, so he still can't help stuffing in any penis or poop references during the process.

Enjoy the NSFW review below!

Zero Punctuation review: Little Big Planet

It's another "Lazy Thursday" (which should be "Lazy Wednesday," but I've been a bit laggy lately), and this week's Zero Punctuation review is on Little Big Planet for the PS3.

The review is standard Yahtzee fare, but there's some "cheeky" stuff in the middle.

You'll see.

NSFW below, obviously. Enjoy!

New games acquired over the weekend

Something old, something new...

Hot Shots Golf has had a solid run when it comes to playing an enjoyable golf game in an arcade-like setting, and the Out of Bounds PS3 version is no different. One of the few PS3-only games that I wanted to get, now finally in my house. Fore!!

And for my PSP, another music game to tap my fingers to. DJ Max Fever hopefully will fill the "portable Beatmania" gap in my heart, combined with anime graphics and hip Korean beats. I enjoy my English, Japanese, and Chinese beats, so this should be right up my alley.

Oh, and leave it to a new PSP game to remind you that you need to update your PSP firmware. Thanks, Sony.

Zero Punctuation review: Gears of War 2

If there's anything I'd like to try more of, it's the Gears of War games. I tried playing the first game with a friend, and it was great - until the part we had to take separate paths and no one was there to give me the "magic touch of life" to revive my dead carcass.

I'm almost absolutely positive I didn't miss out on much when Gears of War 2 came soaring in. 'Course, it had no glasses, so it couldn't have been mild-mannered original Gears of War...right? Well, Yahtzee's here to straighten things up!

This week's "Lazy Thursday" NSFW video review below. Enjoy!

Goodbye, old friend - you won't be forgotten

My fascination for music-based games has been a long and fruitful journey. I still remember when I found my first Guitar Freaks and Drummania arcade machines, how I enjoyed rocking out and looking like I knew what I was doing. And then Guitar Hero brought the experience home (well, the guitar, anyways), and I learned to adopt the extra 2 fret buttons that never existed in Guitar Freaks.

Then Rock Band 2 arrived at my door this past holiday season, and with it closes the Guitar Hero door.

I was there when you made your first appearance, showing everyone that a game with a specialized controller CAN survive in a market where people are forever trying to avoid spending more money on games. I followed you to your second foray into the market, with a slew of new songs to tackle and rock to. Sure, your 80's mix wasn't so well received, and the official third release became more focused on actual gamer difficulty than pure musical enjoyment...but your mark in video game history is prominent.

Alas, when I first laid hands on Rock Band's guitar, I knew that things would never be the same again. Those recessed fret buttons, the more responsive flipper...I knew that my Guitar Hero days were over. It was time for me to take off the Guitar Hero training wheels off and start riding my 10-speed bike towards the sunset.

Know that you, Guitar Hero, hold a special place in my gamer's heart - along with Guitar Freaks, Drummania, and all music-based video games in their time.

And now, a new chapter begins - one that is riddled and ripe with many opportunities to rock out with friends, in-house and online, where DLC brings new songs every now and then to feast on.

And perhaps...will become one more step towards playing the real thing.

Farewell, Guitar Hero. You've had a good run, but now I must move on.

Zero Punctuation review: Far Cry 2

Far Cry 2? I've never even played the first one, and they released a second? Was the first game even good?

Ignorant? Me?

NSFW below!

A brief moment of your time...

Things have certainly been busy in the Gameritis house. I've been busy trying to work out two New Year's resolutions to post more on this blog as well as on my friend's site Akiba-Station.com (under the name "GameOrDie"), not to mention squeezing in any gaming time I can between work, sleep, meals, and exercise.

That being said, I just want to take this post to mention how pleased I am with this site, whether or not there are people reading it or not. Not only does it serve as an outlet for my self-proclaimed alfliction, but it chronicles my love for the many games that are released. Sure, I'm not a big-named gaming blog, nor am I some corporate news site that is always up-to-the-minute...but just the typical gamer juggling between virtual entertainment and real life. I'm right smack in the middle between a completely hardcore gamer that practically does nothing but game, and the "reality first" gamer that dismisses games entirely and moves on. Just keeping a balance between the two worlds is a daily chore, and blogging about it has become an enjoyable routine.

Anyways, I won't want to be preachy, so I'll end it here. Thanks for listening, and remember to comment anytime!

Here's to another year of video gaming bliss!

Zero Punctuation review: Tomb Raider: Underworld

One has to wonder...how many other tombs are the left that Lara Croft can raid? And why must she do all of this herself? Can't she just gather enough resources to hire an expedition staff or something to assist her during more dire circumstances?

Ever since playing the very first two games, I can't find any reasons to continue on with her adventures. I guess Yahtzee also gets the same feeling this week, reviewing Tomb Raider: Underworld. But he's less forgiving.

NSFW (I mean, c'mon...it's Lara Croft, for fuck's sake) below!

Things will pick up soon...

Late posts all this week, but I promise to put up something worthwhile.

Zero Punctuation Special: Awards for 2008

The first Zero Punctuation of the new year officially dismisses the 2008 video gaming year with Yahtzee's 2008 awards. Of course, these aren't your typical awards, and this is one awards show that no video game company would like to see their games on.

But what better way to start the new year than to have Yahtzee poke fun at all the games worthy enough of his wit.

NSFW and funny below, enjoy!

Disgaea 2 PSP porting news = no surprise

I don't mention it enough here, but I'm pretty much an NIS/Atlus whore.

Does it surprise me that NIS is porting Disgaea 2 on the PSP? No.

Does it surprise me that NIS will bring the PSP port to the States? No.

Does it surprise me that I'll STILL plunk down change for a game that I already own on the PS2? Sadly, no.

The typical New Year's resolution routine

It's officially the first full week of the new year, and I'm sure many of you are still smashed from all the holiday celebrations. Nevertheless, it's resolutions time...time to make promises we'll try to commit to, but will never complete. And what better resolution to fulfill such a requirement than one to try to finish games one already owns?

Alright, so my New Year's resolution is to commit to finishing more games this year. And while this resolution may seem a bit unrealistic, there's nothing idle about it. Last year, I made a resolve to complete a Master's degree that I had left on hiatus for, oh, 3 years, and vowed to complete it and earn my degree, and last year was the first time I've ever actually completed a resolution. Well, at least to my knowledge.

And this year is no different. I feel a different surge of energy when I say that I will complete my games more often this time than years before, and I feel this blog will help me out along the way. It's been my marker for all my past finished games since I started this blog, and it shall be my marker for years to come, so I'm feeling pretty confident.

Speaking of "surges of energy," the little miss and I have made a "couples" resolution to be more fit for the new year, so I'm finally hoisting my lard-ass off the chair and going to the gym to workout. Needless to say, I'm ABSOLUTELY RELIEVED to be sitting down now.

(Image courtesy of icanhascheezburger)

Zero Punctuation review: Prince of Persia

Frankly, there have been WAY too many games to play that have been released in the past couple of months, so every time a game has come my way, I've only done test drives. Prince of Persia has been one of those games, and I left from my brief 10 minutes of gameplay satisfied and somewhat convinced that the game is worth my time and money.

Apparently, Yahtzee also gives his greenlight for the title, categorizing it as an above average according to his range. Of course, this doesn't hold up to the shrine he places for Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, but it still holds its own.

Enjoy the NSFW video below!