Final Fantasy XIII hardcover strategy guide arrives, comes with childhood memories

I remember back when I bought Final Fantasy VII how I was really looking forward to getting the game and playing it for the first time. But I also remember how frustrated I was when the person in front of me bought the game AND strategy guide at the same time. I thought to myself, "Why would you want to buy the game and the guide at the same time? Wouldn't you want to enjoy the game first through self discovery before someone holds your hand through the entire game?"

But I was young and naive back then. And, if I recall, the person may have been older. Now that I, too, am older, I realize the reason wasn't because he was impatient to find everything - he just doesn't have the time to.

Now, at nearly double the iterations from that last memory, Final Fantasy XIII is released, as are the strategy guides that follow suit. And I ended up becoming that man from my youth, buying the strategy guide shortly after acquiring the game.

While this is not a dramatically changing point in my strategy-guide-buying life, it is the first time I've bought one for a Final Fantasy game relatively close to the game purchase. Like many older gamers, the time frame we have to enjoy games gets smaller and smaller, and frankly, there's really no other alternative if you want to keep playing games. I don't have the luxury to waste 4 hours in one sitting trying to find an item, when I could quickly find out that I increase my chances by equipping myself with a particular piece of armor.

But, in my defense, all my strategy guides have been for RPGs or Strategy RPGs. Those games are absolutely full of content that 80% of players would probably overlook by just playing the game once over and not come back for a second playthrough. Any other games like platformers or first-person shooters don't have as much depth as your typical multi-class, -weapon, and -quest RPG game. And there have only been a handful of games AT MOST that I've given extra attention to to get the most out of the gaming experience.

So, while I'll continue to enjoy my playing experience with XIII, the guide will serve to be my safety net, should I become stuck or desire to acquire more "bang for my buck."

Also, for the record, the hardcover edition of the Final Fantasy XIII guide is SUPER slick, on quality print, has minimal spoilers in the walkthrough, and is numbered (since only 210,000 are produced). Piggyback Interactive has quite the keen eye for quality.

Zero Punctuation review: Aliens vs Predator

"Lazy Wednesday" got so lazy that it has become "Lazy Thursday" as I post the latest video review from Yahtzee. This week's unfortunate game to befall this cocky reviewer's wit is Aliens Vs Predator. Though for once, I think the game benefits from being reviewed by Yahtzee, judging from all my friends' comments on the game and its piss-poor history.

As always, NSFW, so enjoy!

Final Fantasy XIII arrives

The game that initially herded people around the PS3 has now gathered XBOX 360 players into the mix as Final Fantasy XIII makes its ways to stores today. The last Final Fantasy game I played was X, and I skipped over XII, so this latest installment will be a return of sorts.

From what I hear, there are a lot of unfamiliar territory explored in this game - different victory music, different handling of battles, different summons. Hopefully there's no compromise in quality.

Maybe I can break my Final Fantasy game completion curse with this game.

Metal Slug 7 and Metal Slug XX blasts its way home

It's a Metal Slug portable binge as I grab myself Metal Slug 7 for the DS and Metal Slug XX for the PSP. If it's not apparent to you, I'm a pretty die-hard Metal Slug fan, with its arcade-style graphics, kill-anything-that-moves gameplay, and intense difficulty settings. To me, it's like a walking version of a SHMUP.

As long as the franchise maintains its difficulty streak and arcade look, I'll be looking forward to more installments in the future.

Zero Punctuation catch-up: Dante's Inferno and Bioshock 2

It's a bit of a stretch when a 14th-Century poem becomes the inspiration to a God-of-War-like game in Dante's Inferno, but I guess anything can happen in "twenty ten." And Yahtzee's video review of the game, at one point, compares its features to his right hand.

Next is his review of Bioshock 2, the sequel to the popular Bioshock game from 2007, complete with Big Daddy/Sister/Your Mom playability.

Both videos NSFW. Both videos below for you to enjoy.

Dante's Inferno


Bioshock 2

Megaman 10 comes busting into my Wii

It's Megaman 10. It's retro. It's on the Wii first. You KNOW I have to get it.

Sure, anyone following my blog will note that there's no "finished" stamp yet for Megaman 9. Trust me, I'm real close - REAL close - but I still haven't finished the game. Will need to get right on that.

But you know any megaman die-hard fan won't miss out on this.

If you're waiting for this to come out for the XBOX 360 or PS3, they'll come out March 11 and 31, respectively.

Heavy Rain review: Choose Your Own Adventure

Heavy Rain by Quantic Dream is not your typical game; there are no powerups, no extra lives, no high score. Nothing there to reassure you that you're doing something good, nothing there to stop you when you're doing something bad. You don't play Heavy Rain - Heavy Rain plays you. The sooner you realize this, the better you will savor this experience.

I'm sure you've already read reviews describing the storyline and the game, so I'll just tell you this - be prepared for a wild ride. Never in my life have I ever gripped the PS3 controller tighter than when I played Heavy Rain scene after scene.

Know how tense you get when you really get into the action sequences or dramatic moments in movies, sitting at the edge of your seat, clenching your fists and grinding your teeth until the moment's past? You're gonna get that sensation with a thriller like Heavy Rain - except you're smack in the middle of it, and the story won't stop.

Don't get the gameplay mixed with the QTE (quick-time events) of other games - Heavy Rain won't, for the most part, wait for you to enter the right input. All your actions bear consequences, whether immediate or not. And while the beginning of the game puts you in training wheels to get the hang of things, later events will require fast reflexes and quick thinking that won't stop until the scene is done.

The graphics and voice acting themselves serve adequately as a good delivery mechanism for the thriller's gritty atmosphere. The gray undertones are enough to convert the happiest man into a full-fledged emo, and the facial features are convincing enough to invest all your emotions into each scene. The voice acting, at times, can feel a bit off and out of place, but overall sets the mood just right - whether someone's angry at someone, or another person is tearfully crying about a memory.

Even though you're (for the most part) in complete control of your actions and choices, Heavy Rain doesn't give you all the time in the world to make them count. The events that occur in the game are happening on their own timeline, and you really don't have time to play the "what if" game to see all your options. This becomes very real in certain scenes when the dramatic tension demands all your focus on what's happening right before your eyes.

Sure, there is a pause button, and sure, you can replay certain scenes again and satisfy all your "what ifs." But doing so will break up the continuity of your current storyline, and who wants to ruin an already-playing movie anyways?

Besides, you're likely to blow through the game quickly once over, take a break, and start it all over again, just to see what other choices you can make that can alter the story.

Heavy Rain is probably the start of interactive games/movies done right, giving you multiple movies in one package and sitting you in the director's chair controlling all the action. Whatever fate you decide for the 4 playable characters in the game is up to you, and the story that you will create is yours alone to enjoy. In my book, that is the ultimate game customization.

Zero Punctuation review: Mass Effect 2

I give props to Mass Effect 2 for taking a save game file from the first game and taking its choice-driven story elements as markers for the new game's story-telling elements. It's pleasant and satisfying to see consistency, especially when it's of your own.

Unfortunately, the rest of the game doesn't meet up to Yahtzee's razor wit. The NSFW cutting is below, enjoy!

Zero Punctuation review: Borderlands

Seems like everyone's been nagging to Yahtzee to review Borderlands. Be careful what you wish for...

NSFW, as always. Enjoy!

Ghostbusters: The Video Game...ghostbusted! I mean, finished!

This is actually some late news, since I finished Ghostbusters: The Video Game earlier this year. Is is a game I recommend to everybody? No. Is it a game for fans? Yes. Will it fulfill the fantasies of controlling your own proton pack? Definitely.

In a way, I enjoyed how Harold Ramis continued the Gozer arc in the story, in addition to "returning to the watering hole" with a visit to the librarian ghost back from the first film. And all the voice acting from the original cast plus a few extra people was certainly a bonus. The collection of items in game after you finish it is sorta painful, considering that certain weapons become suddenly missing if you return to earlier points in the game and it forces you to repurchase your upgrades. But other than that, it was worth the ghostbusting trip back down memory lane.

Plus, it's another game I can put to rest.

Half-Minute Hero arrives, OCD kicks in

After a quick deal, I bit on a copy of Half-Minute Hero for the PSP. Luckily when I called my local GameStop, they had one more copy left. So I quickly went there, bought it, and left the store. As I left the store, I noticed the familiar vacuum-plastic-wrap around the box and should have realized it was their store copy.

A little peeved, I went back to confirm that it was, in fact, the display copy that sat on the shelves, constantly man-handled by many anonymous people before it was shrink-wrapped and in my hands. But he reassured me that the game was absolutely brand-new, so I couldn't really complain.

Sure enough, the pricing sticker had already left its mark, and the box felt a bit grimy and sticky after tearing through the shrink wrap. So, I swapped the box with one I wouldn't care about - DJ Max Fever - and now happily enjoy my "new" copy of Half-Minute Hero.

I just hate, though, how GameStop dupes people when they say the game is brand-new. There wasn't any lies told - the game was unplayed, therefore brand-new. As for the packaging, well...let's just say next time I'll be doing my 20-questions the next time someone tells me it's their last "new" copy left.

Zero Punctuation review: Dark Void

If there was ever an invention that's passed its time to shine, it's the jet pack. What's the last time anyone remember one? Rocketeer? Well, Capcom remembers those fond times in their latest game and Yahtzee's latest target, Dark Void. A game where you get to fly around in a jet pack. I guess a jet pack would be second to my first "pack" love - a proton pack.

But anyways, away to Yahtzee's chopping block it goes! NSFW, so enjoy!

DLC binge: Braid and Bit Trip Beat

This year, the goal is to be more frugal with my wallet, and, being a gamer, saving money is not so easy. Thankfully, there are games like Braid and Bit Trip Beat that deliver quality gameplay at cheap, if not reasonable prices - something I've advocated in the past.

If you like a soothing soundtrack and gorgeous artwork, Braid is a game that you need to try out. With its tranquil atmosphere, the game almost doesn't feel like a game as you use time-altering techniques to pass the unique blend of puzzles. Add to that a lot of subtle references to popular game franchises, and you have a great package.

Bit Trip Beat's main focus, on the other hand, is to keep both graphics and music as simplistic as possible, driving purely on easy-to-grasp-but-hard-to-master gamplay. And as a reward for your persistance, you're treated to plenty of eye-candy in the form of updated graphics as your score improves. Do poorly during gameplay, and your interface gets downgraded graphically and musically to as low as a simple black-and-white pong-inspired setting. Think of it like a retro-bit version of Rez.

Both games together only cost me only $13.50 in the end, and both games are great to play and gorgeous to look at in their own right. So if you're a true gamer at heart, then you shouldn't mind paying only $6-$7 for something that you'd expect to pay full price on.

Zero Punctuation catch-up: Darksiders and Bayonetta

In an attempt to catch-up from last Wednesday, I've stuffed both this and last week's reviews into one post. God of War Darksiders and Devil May Cry Bayonetta are next in line for Yahtzee's wit and banter, and boy does he let it loose.

Oh, and I've done minor changes to the blog to accommodate the heftier Zero Punctuation video sizes, which actually makes my blog look more roomier! Probably for the best. NSFW videos below, so enjoy!

Darksiders


Bayonetta

Wii week: No More Heroes 2 and Tatsunoko vs. Capcom arrive

This week's releases sorta snuck up on me as No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle and Tatsunoko vs. Capcom both come out the same week for the Wii.

The first No More Heroes left quite the lasting impression with all its blood, language, violence, and unique visual style. While not many people found the game to be great, it still had a dedicated following - enough to push it past the Wii console and branch out into the 360 and PS3 as No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise. However, No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle (for now) is only on the Wii, back to the control scheme that makes you feel like a Jedi badass, except with more red. I'll definitely post some impressions of the game soon.

The other game, Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, came at a slightly different afterthought. While I left the E3 floor last year with mixed impressions, it wasn't until I developed better skill at Street Fighter IV that I decided to give this a shot. So far, it's definitely like the Vs. series before, with over-the-top super moves and tons of aerial combos, but with a nice glossy finish and all the Japanese voice acting left intact. While there were some aesthetic changes done to the ending screens, and one character omitted late in the game, it's still not a bad fighting game in the end. For those that want a less button-mashing approach, I suggest using the classic controller or an old GameCube controller; the Wii-mote control scheme simplifies the gameplay to an almost no-brainer style of play.

The pre-order bonus for Tatsunoko vs. Capcom was this pack of 8 lenticular cards, which was both snazzy and shady. The cards themselves are very nice, and the pack is only through pre-order. The "shady" part of it is that there are 13 cards in the entire collection, and you can only get the rest through trading with someone else. In a way, I think this is Capcom's devious way of getting TvC players to meet with each other and get some different rivalries going on.

What surprised me was when I leafed through the instruction manual (mind you, just to look a pictures - I'm a "play first, read later" gamer). Pages started to slide right out!

Turns out that someone forgot to staple my instruction manual! The pages look meant to be read as a book, so I doubt it was intentional. Oh well, I'll probably be too busy playing the game to care.

Cleaning house: Making your games used games

I suppose you can classify me as a "hoarder" by general definition, but in my defense, I only buy games that I'm interested in playing over and over again. But even that standard isn't infallible, as the picture above proves. That stack, my friends, is the stack I've officially decided to "dispose" of.

I ran out of time. I have no time. I lost interest. The game was nothing I expected. Whatever the reason, there they were - neglected video games collecting dust. Realistically, the rate of games being released is much higher than the rate at which I can complete them, and their poor traits only increased their shelf life. In the end, these games only had a matter of time before they were out of my life for good.

Unlike a lot of people, I can't just finish a game and part ways with it on a dime to the next game. If the game had an outstanding value to it, keeping possession of it is like putting up a trophy on the mantle; something to tell the gaming world "yes, I've survived to the end boss and kicked his sorry little ass," or "I have yet to finish this game, but it's so good that the ending will surely be great," or "challenge me with this game and you will meet an unfortunate demise."

I've used the analogy before, but a good game is like a good book, and like all good books, only the well-worn ones show signs of quality in a game. All my games that I've kept have been well-worn, and even if I don't actively play them I've lent them to many friends so that they, too, may experience what I had the first time I played that game.

As for the games I part with? I don't dispose of them because I really want to, but out of necessity. And possibly to dissolve my status of "hoarder" among my comrades. And certainly, some of the games you see here may actually be your own favorites. They just didn't fit either my style of games I usually play, they couldn't find a spot among the other games I frequently turn to, or they were simply the victim of their own success (i.e. later game in series, collection of games).

Oh, by the way...GameStop wouldn't accept my Guitar Hero guitar. It just won't go away...

How do you deal with games that have outlived their usefulness in your house?

Lego Rock Band...finished!

I have to be honest, when I heard about this game, the "kiddie" songs come to mind, or that the songs are all pop-ish and commonly played on the radio. But that's not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you want more people to play any Rock Band title.

With Lego Rock Band, it's much easier to get people to participate, because the song list doesn't alienate people with their heavy metal, indie, or obscure songs. And if you have existing downloads, most of the family-friendly ones will be playable through the game. Thankfully, all my Foo Fighters songs made the transition.

Now after completing this, I've been treating my Rock Band games much like pre-set radio stations. If I want some alternative with some heavy rock, I stick with Rock Band 2. If I feel like some classic Beatles songs, I pop in Beatles Rock Band. And if I feel like some overplayed-but-popish songs, I pop in Lego Rock Band. Wonder what the next radio station will be? I'll probably skip the Green Day Rock Band game, though...

Achievements and Trophies: getting 100%

Let's face it, achievements and trophies are a love-hate relationship. They've ranged from the shameless hoarding of such trivial goals from games like King Kong, to the hair-pulling awards that are almost impossible to obtain. But they all define one fact: that at one point or another, that game was in your system at one point or another.

"So what," you may ask? Well, when was the last time you checked out your trophies/achievements? How many of those games do you only have 1 or 2 of them? If you're like most gamers out there, chances are you're not completing all your games you've been purchasing. And now suddenly your list of trophies are just a chronicle of your failed conquests.

It's one thing to tell people you have so many trophies or achievements, but it's quite an entirely different thing if all of them are no-brainer goals that are earned by picking up your first item or taking down your first enemy. While these types of milestones have been minimized over time, games still employ these easy-wins just to satiate the gamers' palette for gameplay motivation.

And I don't know how XBox 360 displays their achievements, but those percentages on the PS3 stick out like a sore thumb. Every time I check out my trophies, it's a constant reminder of which games I've started and never finished. Nevermind the fact I finished one or two chapters - the emptiness says it all.

It's not a question of how many achievements or trophies you have, but how they reflect you as a an accomplished gamer. And that, my friends, is a goal I hope to attain from every game I conquer.

Zero Punctuation review: Torchlight

If your game is like World of Warcraft lite, expect Yahtzee to take notice. Torchlight is the victim this week, so stick around for all the NSFW goodness. Enjoy!

UPDATE: Oh yeah, here's the link. Turns out that I'll have to fiddle around with my blog settings to accommodate the new size of these videos. Will have this fixed by next week!

Gameritis is now on Facebook

I guess now is as good as any to officially announce this, but I've taken my blog to Facebook. Like how TV has migrated many people away from radio and literature, Facebook has the world captivated people away from standard blog reading.

So to follow suit, I've established my place on the social network. Even though I've started this about 3 months ago, implementation is still in its infantile stage, so I'll be gradually adding more stuff in the coming months.

Check out the fan page here, and become a fan today!

Or tomorrow. Or sometime in the future if you so choose.

Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack In Time...finished!

At a little more than 11 hours of gameplay, I find myself finishing up Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack in Time on Hard Mode. For such a build-up with the previous game and mini-episode in between, I found the story to be shorter than I expected. Perhaps I was so eager to play a lot that I simply breezed through the game without knowing.

Despite all this, game itself is still a wonderful, weapon-filled experience - which is what anyone who's a fan of the series would come to expect. So, let's just put aside the fun of leveling up weapons that do massive damage to everyone on the screen for one second and highlight the other aspects that make the game worth your time.

Open Space

Travelling from planet to planet usually just meant selecting your destination, and then you're into the next level - no flying in-between. Even if there were, it would be a rails-on shooter, similar to Star Fox. But even then, adjusting the altitude to the right height to land your shots were troublesome.

In this latest Ratchet and Clank game, however, they've decided to return the outer space travel, minus the altitude. What's left is a fun space-shooter between levels, without the mess of aligning your shot. All you have is your boost or break, and a simple 180-degree turn, and that's all. And each region is its own isolated galaxy, so you're not overwhelmed by a humongous sandbox of planets.

Clank's Puzzles

The concept of caching multiple versions of yourself to pass levels is nothing spectacularly new in games, but to see it integrated into this game is a nice pleasant escape from the constant shooting and blowing up of objects. Sure, it's a more elaborate version of the typical Clank mini-missions of previous games, but to give him a weapon which reverses damage of objects back to their original state only gives him a little more depth into his missions as well as his character.

Deep Story

Sure, you can play A Crack in Time by itself, having never played Tools of Destruction, Quest for Booty, or even Up Your Arsenal where the villian makes his first appearance. But you would deprive yourself on a well-told story that the gameplay drives so well. And really, without the story, this would be a mindless shoot-em-up game that no one would play at all.

As of this posting, I've clocked in at least another 5 hours of extra gameplay into the game, and have yet tried the Challenge Mode for a greater challenge. And a small glitchy bug in the game's preventing me from cashing in on one trophy. Other than that, the game is worth the time and money to play. I highly recommend it!

New games for the new year

Well, not quite. These games arrived last month during the holidays, so consider this a bit of catch-up on my blog of their existence. Let's just say that I have a few "finished" stamps to...well, stamp, and one of the titles is in this list.

First off, I have Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story for the DS and Little Big Planet for the PSP. Being a HUGE fan of the first two Mario & Luigi RPGs, I expect this game to be no less amusing. As for Little Big Planet for the PSP, my hopes for level creation were revived anew after that promotional event not too long ago, so the game is very much still in my radar.

Lastly, I've finally secured my copy of Ghostbusters: The Video Game. I can't resist the urge to throw down some ghosts with my very own proton pack, and this game is as close as I'll get.

Zero Punctuation special: Awards for 2009

A new resolution is to puntuate (Eh? Eh?) these Zero Punctuation posts with an actual image along with the video. Figured I should go the extra mile this year.

Anyways, this "Lazy Wednesday" brings Yahtzee in a rewards-like ceremony highlighting the gaming year of 2009 using the only arsenal in his possession - his wit.

NSFW, buddies, so enjoy! And if the movie is offset below, here's the direct link.

New Year's Revolutions

It is now officially 4 days into the new "twenty ten" year. Have you put aside your New Year's resolutions in yet? Sure, there are the typical "I'll lose weight," "I'll be more organized," or "I'll get rid of debt" resolutions, but what about gaming resolutions? What about "I'm gonna finish that game," "I'll give multiplayer a shot," or "I'll get my wife to play a co-op game with me?"

Personally, not only am I making those my gaming resolutions, but I'll add "completing RPGs in a more timely manner" to my list. Atlus, I've got my eye on your games.

In addition to completing games, I'm also making a resolution to push out the harder difficulties in games, just for the added challenge. With well-structured AAA games like Batman: Arkham Asylum and Uncharted 2 giving more incentive to do multiple playthroughs, I really don't mind the extra time spent for the added challenge.

And finally, I resolve to post more frequently, and with more thought-provoking articles this new year, instead of just game acquirements, game conquers, and Zero Punctuation.

What are your gaming New Year's resolutions?

Zero Punctuation review: Holiday cheer and the Saboteur

Hope the holidays have been fun and eventful! Even last week, Yahtzee had some fun as well:

Well, this week his victim is The Saboteur. I did very little research, so NSFW and enjoy!

UPDATE: Is it just me, or are the videos lately have been appearing off these past couple of weeks? I've linked direct links to Yahtzee's holiday cheer and The Saboteur here.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

It's the holiday season - a time for social gatherings with friends and family. What a perfect time to gather all those multiplayer games and get people playing against and with each other!

Here are my personal picks (along with some personal experience of "fun" being had) for gaming fun that everyone can enjoy:

New Super Mario Bros. Wii:

The last time I experienced multiplayer was when I played with a couple of Nintendo staff and Charles "It's-a-me, Mario" Martinet back in E3 this year. Since then, I wasn't thinking much on the experience, maybe because I was too star-struck back then. But the second time around, a group of buddies got 4 players going on, and we had a roaring good time!

It's no surprise that friends will be lost, relationships will be strained, and family ties will be severed (I've even heard people call it "divorce" mode), but if you have people that don't mind the abuse, the 4-player ruckus is well worth the time and effort. Sure, you'll have people hoarding items, shoving you off platforms, and picking each other up like ragdoll items...but when everyone finishes the level, you can be sure someone will say, "wanna play the next level?" It's surprising to see my friends progress all the way to World 3 before I mentioned that we had other games to play.

Any Rock Band game:

Let's be honest - not everyone can be official rock stars, playing real instruments, and get paying gigs to perform in front of a live audience without sucking a lot. That's why there's Rock Band, to give everyone else a taste of that sensation. Heck, throw in Beatles Rock Band and get 3 mics to perform some triple harmony as a 6-person set. It's probably the best way to get people together and having fun.

And with the constant stream of new DLC songs to purchase, there really is no shortage of songs to rock to. Unless you're SUPER picky of your selection. But you have your selection from the first 2 Rock Bands, Beatles Rock Band, or even Lego Rock Band for all your pop hits. Hey, without Lego Rock Band, you'd never get to play the Ghostbusters song.

Buzz Quiz TV:

There's nothing like being a contestant in a game show, and there are so few games that give that sensation. But until You Don't Know Jack ever returns again with new games, there's Buzz Quiz TV with its 4 wireless hand buzzers. So people can still grab that extra chip or snack, and still be playing the game.

Think 4 players are too little a number? Throw in another 4 buzzers for some 8-player action! That's right, you get 8 people playing at once, giving everyone a chance to screw up on those hard-to-get-right questions. And with extra DLC packs to download, you're never run out of new questions to answer any time soon.

Those are my personal-experience picks to share. Happy Holidays, everyone!

Holiday Gaming: What's new on my plate?

Happy Holidays, everyone! Thought I'd kill three birds with one stone by just making one report on the feast of gaming I'll be making this Christmas so far - Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time, God of War Collection, and Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble. Nothing like saving the universe with a robot and lombax, mutilizing Greek mythology, or getting into weird Japanese high school brawls to get into the Christmas spirit!

Zero Punctuation review: Demon's Souls

I promise that other worthwhile articles will be appearing soon, but in the meantime this "Lazy Wednesday" thing brings along Demon's Souls as this week's target for Yahtzee and his perverbial wit.

What I keep hearing about the game is that it's hard as fuck, that you'll die several thousand times, and that you'll still keep playing the game despite such harsh conditions. While I have to admit that the use of online's very (and almost inspiringly) unique, Demon's Souls still has the potential to be the first game to make me toss my controller at the wall.

So while I sit here enjoying a bit of cheese with my whine, I still have other, less harrowing games to play through before I subject myself to the self-killing spree that is Demon's Souls.

Enjoy the NSFW video below!

Update: Noticed that the video seems to be a bit off, so here the direct link to the video.

The Street Fighter 4 TE Stick arrives

I've mentioned it before, but I'm not a good Street Fighter 4 player. So why do I even have an arcade stick, and the Tournament Edition no less? Well, I've told friends that if I ever get at least 40% better, then I would "treat" myself to the joystick. Well, that, and a chance Amazon "deal of the day" deal sorta clinched it for me.

So, after getting somewhat better in the game (thanks to the less-frequent losses over the past few months), I bit on this chance to get a pricey gaming interface.

But I have to admit, the quality is all there. Real arcade buttons and joystick, hefty controller weight...It's like I ripped the controls off of an arcade machine.

Wait, that gives me an idea... ;)

zero punctuation catchup: Assassin's Creed 2, Left 4 Dead 2, and New Super Mario Bros. Wii

With all the holiday spirits, cold mornings, and busy schedules, I've had hardly the time to even have a "Lazy Wednesday." So this week I bring you two of Yahtzee's witty reviews, covering three games - Assassin's Creed 2, Left 4 Dead 2, and New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

I'd comment more, but I'm prepping more posts to fill out the rest of this week, so I'll just say "NSFW" and "enjoy" for now.

Assassin's Creed 2


Left 4 Dead 2 & New Super Mario Bros. Wii

The push to playing online

There's no doubt about it - playing online has become big this year. If not this year, in the past two months. Uncharted 2, Modern Warfare 2, Demon Souls, and Borderlands (which I have borrowed from a friend) have all become extremely popular in their own right, and it's all thanks to their online properties.

Maybe it's just me and the friends I've been with, but when all these titles came out on their release date, I've observed an increase in friends not only talking about the game, but when they will play online with each other, myself included. I think after Uncharted 2, I felt more connected online than I have with any other game that offered as such.

Sure, I'm not the typical Halo or Gears of War online player, and that's not because I don't have the console for it - I just earnestly didn't feel like I would offer much to the online community, let alone feel good about not doing well. And I never was into World of Warcraft either, which, in the long run, was probably for the best. And I'm sure these games handled online just as well as these titles. So what changed?

I think the ideal that good online multiplayer can only exist on Halo titles is wearing thin. Or maybe the concept of only playing deathmatch online where everyone is against everyone else is boring. I mean, no one wants to play online only to find time and time again that they just suck.

Nowadays, there's much more variety now into online capabilities, as Demon's Souls demonstrates with their unique way to communicate our past failed attempts to other online plyaers randomly. Or in Borderlands, where the seemingly-limitless gun stats produces countless hours of playtime to find the best weapon for the job. Maybe the opportunities to become great online has finally exceeded the need to have the highest ranking.

Either that, or I just have more friends that want to play online games with me.

Happy Gobble-Gobble Day

Just want to wish all gamers a Happy Thanksgiving on this festive holiday! And rest up for the deals that will start Black Friday morning!

Zero Punctuation review: Modern Warfare 2

Alright, Yahtzee. I respect you as a "tough-as-nails" reviewer, but when you gush about Modern Warfare 2's co-op multiplayer mode and not even acknowledge multiplayer in general for Uncharted 2, I smell shenanigans.

I mean, if you're gonna rib a game for all its poor traits, at least be thorough about it. Sure, you may not finish games, but the least you could have done is went through all the modes in the menu.

I enjoy your video game reviews and the snarky wit you apply each week to them, but without professionalism...well, then they're just rants.

Witness Yahtzee's NSFW love-fest for the game below.

Zero Punctuation review: Dragon Age: Origins

Y'know what's really been bugging me? Games with colons in the title. Really makes my post titles a bit redundant. Anyways, this week's Zero Punctuation review takes a (sword) stab at Dragon Age: Origins, a game that everyone I've talked to say it's "omg the best RPG ever." Which is better than hearing Modern Warfare 2 fans screaming "GOTY" at the top of their lungs, but that's another rant for another day.

I'm sure all the people that enjoy Dragon Age: Origins are the same people that enjoy Fable. Or Fable 2. Or World of Warcraft. I'm just not a fan of these games, so I probably won't enjoy the game myself. But if you enjoy these types of RPG, you should give Dragon Age: Origins a shot. It's got the "omg" stamp of approval - how can you refuse?

The video below has the NSFW stamp of approval itself. Enjoy!

New Super Mario Bros. Wii makes a surprise appearance

New Super Mario Bros. Wii didn't make a lasting impression on me during E3, despite the fun I had playing with the voice of Mario, Charles Martinet. I've always thought that the game was strictly multiplayer, and that there was no way to play the game by yourself. Boy, was I wrong.

Not only is the game a new Mario Bros. game, but it's a nice throwback to the classic layout of the original Super Mario Bros. (complete with fireworks), map screen styles and bonus games from Super Mario Bros. 3, and the use of Yoshi from Super Mario World. Toss in a few new powerups along with the challenge of New Super Mario Bros. on the DS, and you have a marvelous Mario montage.

After doing a 100% complete on New Super Mario Bros. on the DS after many hours, I'm expecting an even harder challenge on the Wii. And hopefully my wife will be my player 2.

Lego Rock Band is a little of column A, a little of column B...

Legos and Ray Parker Jr. Those are the only reasons I could think of that possessed me to take an interest in Lego Rock Band. Legos were my main childhood toy, giving me the ability to create whatever I wanted - a car, a police station, a miniature model of the treehouse with secret entrance that my parents never built for me. And Ray Parker Jr. wrote the song for one of my favorite movies, Ghostbusters.

Okay, so my E3 impressions left me with a better impression than I thought. The one thing that made a lasting impression was the challenge mode, which made playing the song more like a music video than a concert. Through the power of rock, you can destroy a building apart lego piece by lego piece.

At the very least, you have to give Harmonix props for putting all new songs that aren't in any previous versions of Rock Band. And, if you really dislike the Lego setting (and are too lazy to switch discs), you can fork over another $10 to export the songs to Rock Band 2.

Well, if the challenges are half as entertaining as the building demolition one, then my childhood's gonna have a grand ol' time playing this game.

Critter Crunch...finished!

Puzzle games are a dime a dozen, but good puzzle games are a rare breed. In my video game life, I've probably played Tetris, Tetris Attack (Panel de Pon in Japan), and Super Puzzle Fighter 2 Turbo the most, and not in that particular order. So, when Critter Crunch completely consumes my attention at hours on end, you know something's right.

Since checking the game out at E3, Critter Crunch gameplay showed a lot of potential and promise as a good puzzle game. The concept follows a simple food-chain system where you feed smaller critters to larger critters. Feed them enough, and they pop and unleash their jeweled innards to consume. Also, there's only 3 different-sized critters, so there's no confusion about what consumes what.

The game also includes your standard fare of powerups and special critters which make the game an even bigger challenge. I only wished that all of them were revealed earlier on, instead of distributing them evenly across the adventure mode.

When you tire of adventure mode, there's also puzzle, challenge, and survival mode to test your skills. All three modes live up to their name, especially challenge mode. However, the randomly-generated starting screen can be often times unforgivably difficult, making challenges much harder than they usually are, and making adventure mode progression a luck-of-the-draw restarting game.

Multiplayer is also fun to play whether in co-op or versus, but if you haven't progressed through adventure mode, some of the later items will be brand new to you. And even if you have seen all the new items, there's nothing in it telling you about the multiplayer-only items that appear during the matches. Like the one powerup that makes your opponent feel like he took a cocktail of drugs and is tripping balls. Nothing like a whole lotta "wtf" to get you cursing.

Despite puking your contents into your son's mouth for bonus points, Critter Crunch is nowhere near the craziness of my favorite puzzle games. It's a good challenge, but it's more a frustrating challenge than an "I think I can do better" challenge. But it has a spot in my list of games to kill away 5 minutes. Or 5 hours.

Little Big Planet (PSP) Game Jam Session winners

To promote Sony's upcoming Little Big Planet release on the PSP November 17th, Sony Computer Entertainment America and the Acadamy of Art University School of Game Design organized a 24-hour Game Jam Session where groups of game design students designed Little Big Planet levels within 24 hours.



Last night's event at Roe Restaurant in San Francisco revealed the day-long level creations to guests and judges. Pushing past the learning curve of the level creation tools and the 24-hour time restriction, the students managed to construct large and enjoyable levels centered around popular Bay Area icons such as the Golden Gate Bridge and Koit Tower.

Overall, every level in the contest was very well constructed and thought out. One of my favorites was the Golden Gate level, with its creepy electrified taxis that try to slowly run you over. It was quite as lengthy as the actual Golden Gate Bridge, and perhaps almost as unforgiving, but it was a great challenge. Eric, one of the members of Team Golden Gate, told me that in retrospect the difficulty was perhaps a bit too high. But the level displayed a good use of level depth that Little Big Planet's known for.


In the end, however, it was Team Cable Car (Doanna, Desiree, and Nathan, pictured above from left to right) that wowed the judges with their cable-car racing level, littered with many familiar San Francisco sights as your cable car whizzed on by. One decoration I particularly liked was the clever abstract design of the Fisherman's Wharf sign, using a flame graphic from one of the stickers as the basis for the crab claws. For being the contest winners, they each received a PSPGo, a copy of Little Big Planet for the PSP, and their level available for download when the game launches. As for all the other teams, everyone else also received an early copy of the game as a consolation prize.



After seeing all the wonderful San-Francisco-themed levels created in such a short time span, I'm inspired to go back to my copy of Little Big Planet on the PS3 and revisit many of my abandoned level creations, including the one level I completed. After all, as the students displayed that night, Little Big Planet's only limit is your imagination.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (crushing mode)...finished!

This is an odd feeling. Finishing games is one thing, but to go back to them and complete it all over again on the hardest setting is something I would've never considered years ago. So why the change? Well, games that are actually fun more than once around the block. Such was the case with Batman: Arkham Asylum, and such is the case today with Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.

If this keeps up, I might have to make a new stamp just for completing games on the hardest difficulty.

Zero Punctuation review: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

This week, Yahtzee reviews Uncharted 2: Among Thieves for the PS3. While I normally reserve my own opinions to myself and sit back and enjoy the wit from his angry rants, I feel like Yahtzee didn't give the game enough chance, let alone leaving out multiplayer altogether.

Actually, the one thing that sticks to me (pun intended) is his claim that your character clings to any wall it encounters. You need to press a button to hide behind a wall, so it's not like some auto-cling. But I agree, it's not quite so clean when you want to leave the wall to attack, to move, or just run away.

But the really sad thing? Having people completely base their purchases from Zero Punctuation. Listen, despite all the attacks he does to the games he reviews, it's still all his opinions, albeit very witty and genitalia-filled. Personally, I watch them as a sort of relief to the typical video-game review, away from all the constant "game of the year omg must buy" articles and "perfect 10s."

That being said, this video is clearly NSFW, so please enjoy. And remember, this is just entertainment.

Zero Punctuation review: Washington D.C.

This week's "Lazy Wednesday" is brought to you by...Washington D.C.? Looks like our buddy Yahtzee is in-between events, so he's doing a little sightseeing around the area. And, more likely, just not around his computer to do a proper game review. So here's something outside the norm.

Does that make the video any less NSFW? Hardly...enjoy!

Video Game Horror: Dead Space and Resident Evil 4

Yes, it's past Halloween, but my post about playing two horror games will finally be up. Bear in mind that I played the games last week, but was just too busy to write them up, so here you go.

Dead Space (PS3)

There have been only two times I played this game before last week, and the first time I ran like a bitch shooting at anything that breathed. This time, however, I decided to take things a little slower. It didn't help my nerves any better, though. I mean, this game was meant to warp your senses and was all about setting the atmosphere to an uncomfortable level of horror. If you believe that a monster is breathing on your neck to your immediate right, chances are you're dead right. Well, at the least dead.

I would say that the majority of gameplay is just cowering your character in fear most of the time. Areas that are just a mere room become an acre of slow careful treading through dark crevices. Monster encounters become a counting task of ammo conservation as you become increasingly frugal at dispensing damage. Fearing death becomes an involuntary uber objective from the start.

Dead Space is still a game that gets me clutching at my heart and makes me second-think my peripheral vision. Will have to continue this game in the future with some extra clean underwear.

Resident Evil 4 (Wii)

Playing Resident Evil 4 after pissing my pants in Dead Space, the game came off a little light. Putting aside graphical differences, the initial setting puts me outdoors, in a village, in the evening with a light fog around the area. Okay, eerie setting...but still nothing like the darkness of space in a nearly-empty spaceship.

And the first enemy encounter was just a person my character mistaken to be a regular human, only to put it down after it came after me with a weapon. Not quite suspenseful, but it's to be expected for a Resident Evil game.

In fact, I ran through the first part just as I would in Dead Space, but there was no nail-biting "oh shit" moments. Just a normal town with less-than-normal residents brandishing weapons and wishing harm upon my being in afternoon daylight. In trying to focus on the story, I conserved my ammo for a while, then wasted it on the chainsaw guy as he took my head off. I was actually more annoyed than frightened at that point, as if the game flipped me off for even trying to play the game.

The controls are, however, nice and responsive. The game still had the awkward movement control system, so I found it hard to turn on corners, even with the added 180-degree flip.

In the end, the game went right back into the box. I think half the reason for that was that the game just pissed me off in a bad way, and the other half because it's a Resident Evil title.