Internet, 2...me, 1

Thanks to spoiler-free posts, I've been shielded from most of the Brawl flood.

Then they go on to articles that speculate features/characters/items that are NOT in the game.

I give up.

This is gonna be a long month...

Zero Punctuation: Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles

Not forgetting that it's Lazy Wednesday once again, here's Yahtzee's take on Umbrella Chronicles for Wii. Just to be on the safe side, I'm gonna rank this as NSFW. There's some censorship, but not enough to cover the vulgar humor that resides within.

Controlling your video game "excitement"

Do video game bloggers carry no remorse? Frankly, I can't understand how people can willingly expose themselves to spoilers for a game that has yet to be released here in a month just to post on their site and attract more traffic to their gaming blog. News has been flooding everywhere of Smash Bros Brawl spoilers that I've officially given up grabbing random screenshots online, for fear that one leak may find its way to me. I've even stopped going to certain sites, simply because they can't help but post what the public wants, which is everything Brawl at the moment.

Sure, you can say that we'll eventually play the game and find them out ourselves in time...but there's still a majority of us who love unlocking extras on our own without the extra guides and spoilers.

This is almost annoying as seeing a person purchase a game AND its strategy guide at the same time. It's like buying a lunch and then immediately taking a dump, just because you can't stand the hour-long enjoyment of eating a satisfying meal and the 2-3 hours of digestion that follows.

No need to rush it. This shit's gonna come out eventually.

I'll "final smash" YOU if you ruin it for me!!

Because of the month-long delay, the release of Super Smash Bros Brawl in Japan this week is going to have a severe impact on my internet browsing. In the next few days, things may be revealed, and screenshots may pop up. I just hope sites are mindful when posting spoilers. In the meantime, I plan to shield myself with class and games.

For 4 weeks.

I swift punch to the face of the first person who spoils any of it for me.

Does that mean it's LESS than a month away?

If you're in Japan and you're picking up Super Smash Bros Brawl this week, I have nothing but scorn and envy for you. We westerners still have a full month until it comes out here. Well, technically, it's only February, and everyone knows that's not a real month. =P

Rant on posting spoilers....part 2!!

Okay, does anyone know the meaning of "spoilers" anymore? I go to my two favorite gaming blogs and I find them both posting picture spoilers of the complete fighter roster of Super Smash Bros Brawl right in plain sight!!

Regardless whether it's fake or not (in this case, fortunately, it's fake), that doesn't excuse the act of posting something so visually blatant as the first image someone sees when they visit your site!!

Oh, and to all who say people take spoilers too seriously? You damn right we do!! There are people that enjoy a good game and good story, and want to actually want to play the damn game all the way through. Call me crazy, but I think people enjoy unlocking things on their own instead of having a stupid blogger telling you what to expect in the end.

Oh, we shouldn't be looking up stuff online if we don't want spoilers? Are you saying we shouldn't look up info online at all anymore?? Sites like these are popular because they're constantly updated, and we are a generation on a "need to know" basis. Posting spoilers/rumors without notification to the reader almost makes the site no better than the local tabloids. It's not like we go to some specific site for spoilers and, hopefully, find some actual, factual news posting amongst the rumors.

The bottom line is, no one wants to post something that'll ruin the surprise for everyone else...at least not without the viewer's consent. As long as everyone follows some basic rules, everyone should have a good and spoiler-free time.

Oh. My. God.

Super Mario Bros 1-1 level stage in Smash Bros Brawl. Nuff said.

Zero Punctuation review: The Witcher

You guys are in for a treat. Today on Lazy Wednesday, Yahtzee rips a new one on The Witcher, and it's damn funny. Why? Click the NSFW video to check it out!!

Oh, and the dubbing of the "Painkiller" footage has its moments...but I'm just guessing Yahtzee is just killing time for his short impressions of The Witcher.

Patapon FEVER at $20!!

Finishing Loco Roco couldn't have come soon enough. Patapon's coming within a month's time, and it's gonna retail at $20?? Yes, despite Brawl falling to March, February's shaping up to be a good month for video games.

Hey! Who messed up my solar system model??

When you've played games as much as I have, you develop a more refined taste of what games to buy and enjoy. Which is why most of the time, I don't go nuts over every video game release that occurs each week.

Of course, there are the few occasions, like this week, where the planets align perfectly and shine a path to the sheer awesomeness of those few anticipated titles that receive my full attention.

Advance Wars: Days of Ruin and No More Heroes are set for release this week, and I'm eagerly looking forward to both titles. The first is a nice, darker sequel to one of the best military-strategy games to come out for Nintendo, and the second ironically brings out the hero out of an otaku-driven person in a very artsy backdrop.

The planets would've aligned next month as well, if one of the two titles I was expecting didn't slip from its release date...

1980s trend revamped in Brawl: stickers now rule!

Since the announcement a while back, I've always thought the Sticker Collection add-on was ridiculously lame. I mean, at least with trophies and CDs, I can collect a virtual figurine collection or listen to classic Nintendo game soundtracks...but stickers? C'mon! I don't have a Panini sticker book anymore...

But all that changed from crap to awesomeness in today's Smash Bros Dojo update.

Basically, to sum it up, stickers can adjust character stats by applying them to your character's trophy. This is only applicable to the single player mode, but hey...originally, most people thought a sticker collection is just a sticker collection.

This is absolutely cool on Nintendo's part, and ties up an otherwise needless feature. Now I'll collect as many stickers as possible!!

Clever, Nintendo...next thing you know, assist trophies might be clues to hidden characters' identities.

How 'bout it, Nintendo? Am I right?

The immaturity of high kicks

After yesterday's post, I kept thinking, "where have I seen this picture before?"

Ah yes, the latest Street Fighter 4 images.

I like Link's composed expression during the situation, as opposed to Ken ogling Ryu's nether regions like a slow-motion train wreck.

I know I should be more mature about these things...but I'm not. Take this other image from some Street Fighter Online game in its Beta form...

Loco Roco...finished!!

I gotta say...Loco Roco came off as one of those games that really didn't feel like a game. I mean, there's a truthful beginning and end, but overall it felt like the equivalent to a nice day at the park. I'd definitely would like to play again just to collect more things, but it's had its day in the sun, so to speak.

The one thing that pissed me off the most, however, during the game wasn't your arch enemies the mojos, but rather the spikes that litter the worlds. Mojos just suck your loco rocos one by one, while spike balls knock the shit out of your cluster. But despite that and the fact that the game's fairly easy, the puzzles they lay out are a challenge in themselves.

I'll say this - that's probably the most use those left and right shoulder buttons will get in its entire lifetime.

Zero Punctuation review: Crysis

Wow...when the Yahtzee video review has NOT been posted yet until now, you KNOW it's a "Lazy Wednesday." Enjoy!

She's a man, baby!!

Today's Smash Bros Dojo update talks about the return of Sheik.

And balls.

This screenshot was begging to be ridiculed. I wonder who can fight Sheik on equal terms?

Super Mario Galaxy...revisited

I know I still have tons and tons of games to finish, but there's something about Mario games that make me want to finish collecting all the stars. Plus, with Mario Galaxy, there's an extra bonus after collecting all 120 stars. (Spoiler: You get to play as Luigi.)

Now that I've collected 120 stars, I wish I hadn't.

Thanks to the bonus, it makes you want to play it all over again! And while this is not the first time I've reported such a situation, this time I wouldn't mind playing the game over again. The goals (despite sometimes being extremely short) are quick and easy to accumulate in a short span of time and making it less of a hassle to play. But that's another 120 stars all over again! Thanks for the reward and all, but c'mon...really??

Well, I can perhaps persuade my wife to be my Player 2 this time, despite her frantic wand-waving style. I mean, I found all 120 stars already - how bad can she mess me up?

I'm still not getting a PS3

In light of breaking news this past week, I'm still willing to wait out to see who will dominate in the format wars. I'd like the reason for me to buy a new console to be some game that I can't play otherwise. Movies will always be second to games when it comes to these major purchases.

A dark moon is rising over Brawl...

I wish Snake's sm-ass-h move had a different camera angle.

Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations...finished!!

Wow, had to dust off my "finished" stamp for a moment there...been a while since I used it. But the Phoenix Wright trilogy is finally over for me. Throughout all 3 games, the stories have been enticing, and the numerous puns and jokes still carry with it its own brand of enjoyment. Overall, the third installment wraps up everything with a nice bow AND gives you pie ala mode with an extra helping of AWESOME STORY!!

What excites me more than these nicely (but sometimes convoluted) stories is the fact that the new Justice installment, Apollo Justice, is just around the corner. Around February's corner, that is. I'm so happy that Capcom realizes the resounding success of these courtroom/detective dramas enough to quickly bump the release of the next game so fast.

Zero Punctuation review: Silent Hill Origins

Oh yeah, lest I break apart from my weekly regime, here's Yahtzee's review of Silent Hill Origins. Personally, I've never played the series all too much, but I've heard about its scare-you-until-you-shit atmosphere and the whole when-your-radio-screeches-static-you-run-like-shit, and I'm all about a good story.

Then again, I'm all about laugh-my-ass-off reviews about games I've never played, too...